Two Months After

Two months (and a day) after, I finally write about The Day After… I need focused time to write, and the busyness and my own rationalizations that I can’t do it while the boys are still awake and popping by every now and then are my excuses. Now that we’re going to the office and the kids are going to school again, I ensure that I get enough sleep, and so the entries have been sporadic.

I believe I’m functioning normally, a merry jumble able to experience joy and laughter amidst the very painful grieving process. When my mind quiets, that’s when I remember and relive so many of the things that have happened in the past year or so. Words and thoughts race through my head, many circling again and again, like the creatinine that Sofia’s kidneys couldn’t process. Driving alone gives me a lot of time to think and have a lot of heartfelt one-on-one discussions with God.

Speaking of the creatinine that went round and round, I found it bitterly funny when Sofia was given an antibiotic that could go round and round her bloodstream for 7 days because of her failed kidneys. I told Nhatz it was Sofia’s way of saving a little bit for us.

 

Starting Our New Normal

Nhatz and I returned to work today. No more part-time/work-from-the-hospital sh*t. I was sad this morning because today marks the beginning of our new normal, and it’s not the normal we wanted.

When I got to the office, our well-meaning receptionist greeted me with an excited Ma’am, nanganak na kayo! (you’ve given birth!) I quickly appraised her of the situation, which also quickly got both of us teary-eyed.

Happy Monday.

The rest of the day was quite normal.